The ATM Cave, Chaos, and Butterfly Wings

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Turbulence. Mystery. Inexplicable occurrences.

Fractals like intricate snowflakes, or motifs painted by frost across a single-pane window, are etched into nature. They are evident in leafless aspens that stand as lacy silhouettes against an indigo sky and the jagged hems that form the shoreline. Life is fractals and scale and strange attractors.

We gaze into the night sky knowing only that it’s unknowable.

At least in our present world. And to the vast majority of us. The Milky Way, a spiral shaped galaxy links centuries past with endless futures.   The mysteries of the universe calls us to its wonders like the Silk Road called to early travelers.  The lure of cinnamon and saffron.  Tea and fine silk.  Pulled by  adventure.  Exploration.  Discovery. 

We search for the familiar amidst the unfamiliar.

We followed Ernesto, our guide, through the rain forest on a well-worn path that lead to the ATM cave. Admiring the foliage, and warily watching for the jaguar that had been spotted earlier in the week.   We crossed the river several times, a fractal carving it’s way through the forest.  And arrived at the cave entrance just as the sun nodded its head and night pulled back the curtains.  The first stars were faint in a sky not quite dark.

A black and implacable pool of water guarded the yawning cave entrance.  

While there was no perceptible movement across the surface of the water, we knew that there was an inflow and outflow because we could hear the faint music of running water coming from within the cave. 

The heat of the day that clung to our bodies seeped out as we stepped into the pond.  Ripples spread in ever-widening circles across the surface as we broke through the thin membrane of space and time.  When our feet lost anchor with the bottom, we began to swim, our strokes and kicks creating turbulence. 

The surface gradually became still when the last of us climbed onto the rock shelf within the cave .

Shaking off the water, iridescent droplets scattered in the light of our headlamps.

Having gained entry to the cave, we clambered over boulders and followed the stream further and further into the network. Sometimes wading chest deep where the water pooled before spilling over the rocks.

The rumbling of ancient peoples echoed in the chambers.

Shadows of their lives played on the walls. Large round clay urns still intact stood amidst shards of broken pottery.  The routines and habits of the people past imprinted in the art work and crafts of forgotten utensils. Skeletal remains lay in awkward repose signaling ceremonies and rituals. The ‘Crystal Maiden” the most complete and covered with the sheen of time.

We reached the largest and final chamber by squeezing past fallen boulders and collapsed walls.

Ernesto gathered the six of us around him.  

Sitting cross legged in the large cave, we turned off  our headlamps.  Following his request for silence, we sat listening to the  strange whisperings carried by the subterranean water and on the air that stirred from cavern to cavern through tight passageways.  

Now several kilometers into the heart of the mountain, Ernesto told us stories of his people. 

The Maya.

He told us about this culturally rich and sophisticated civilization.  The proof that lay in the thousands of pyramids and ruins of large cities that dot the landscape throughout Mesoamerica.   Explaining the artifacts within the cave, he wove a story of increasing chaos.

Evidence of a growing urgency to achieve balance is depicted in the increasing severity of blood ritual.

 The caves were an entrance to the underworld, the habitation of the gods. 

This cave network in which we sat had not been used for over a thousand years.  Silently holding it’s secrets until rediscovery in 1989.

The evidence of ceremonial sacrifices moved along a continuum from blood letting to human sacrifice.  As their lives spiraled out of control, they sought more extreme ways to appease the gods.

It’s unclear what caused the collapse of the Maya civilization. 

The civilization that had existed since 2000 B.C. collapsed within the space of 100 years.    What disrupted the pattern that had sustained the civilization for so long? Citing studies, Ernesto hypothesized that drought which is cyclical throughout history increased in both frequency and intensity during the latter part of the first millennium due to deforestation.

As a result, food sources dwindled and couldn’t sustain the large populations in the various centers.  Numbers dwindled. In search of food, people abandoned the cities and temples. The buildings stood empty. Overtaken by soil and seeds, large green mounds spread across the landscape until rediscovery in the late 1800’s.

How is it that a civilization as sophisticated as the Maya could not find a way through the problems they faced? 

How could they not see the causal factors and take action?

When the oscillations that interrupt patterns become too erratic and/or too frequent, a return to stasis is no longer possible.  The only recourse when this happens is entropy or  greater complexity.  A new order. A higher order.

Echoes of the past inform our present. Artifacts give us reference points. The juxtaposition of historical cultural and geography contained within the cave was rich with unanswered questions. There is no definitive answer to what caused this network of caves and tunnels, along with the surrounding cities, to ease into disuse. We don’t know what butterfly flapped its wings.

butterflies in a forest GIF
butterflies GIF

We look for predictability and pattern, and we know it’s found amid chaos.

We feel it. See it. Experience it. Recognize it.

We feel it in the familiar thumping of blood coursing through our body.

The slight hiccup that signals a reset. A disruption of pattern that restores stasis. The job taken over by pacemakers in those whose hearts have forgotten how to reset. 

We see it when we look at the skies.

The blue sky of day shutters all but earth and sun. Blocking our view into eternity.  But nighttime chooses mystery over everyday life, and our view, on cloudless nights, opens to the universe. As the sun shuts the lights down, a curtain is pulled back exposing a wonder vaster than we can imagine.  Then we see eternity sprinkled across the night sky.

We experience it in practical wisdom. 

Don’t keep all your eggs in one basket.   Or don’t count your chickens before they hatch. A stitch in time saves nine.  Or the following quote:

“For the want of a nail the shoe was lost,

For the want of a shoe the horse was lost,

For the want of a horse the rider was lost,

For the want of a rider the battle was lost,

For the want of a battle the kingdom was lost,

And all for the want of a horseshoe-nail.” 

Benjamin Franklin

We recognize that seemingly small actions can trigger significant events . 

Where no patterns exist, we find our own. The point of intersection  becomes the reset as we take new information and make adjustments. Settling us once more into the comfort of our routines.

This is our world and we are the echoes. Past, present, and future.  

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Simply . . .

P.S. The A.T.M. (Actun Tunichil Muknal) Cave is located near San Ignacio, Belize. There are limits on how many people can be in the cave at any one time, so we had to wait until the end of the day to begin our tour. All the other groups had exited by the time we reached the entry to the cave. This enhanced the experience. Furthermore, because it was the end of the day our guide was the owner of the tour company. Well educated in the history of his people and a master story-teller, he made this tour one of the most memorable we’ve been on to date.

P.S.S. When I first saw that chaos dynamics was listed as a mental model that we should be familiar with, I was dubious. Gradually I came to understand why it’s an important lens for us to have.

~ Priscilla

Thank you for sharing this post! I appreciate it 😊